Locked in

 I remember so clearly watching those early daily briefings when Covid started to hit the country, Boris soon announcing that for some people this virus would need to be treated differently and they would need to "shield". Instantly knowing that with my level of wonkiness there was a fair chance i'd be carted into this category i remember feeling a little disgruntled feeling that it would be an absolute inconvenience. 

Over the coming weeks that reality turned to a deep rooted anxiety and fear. Constant text messages from the government - I'll never forget one of the early ones stating that I should not leave the house but could open a window - What am I ? a cat ?? ! these then moved to allow us (shielders) to go into our gardens as long as we were near no one else. We should remain 3 metres from anyone we share a home with, not share towels or cutlery etc .... this all felt insane ! I have 4 children and at this time lived with my husband. Did they think we all lived in mansions with an east and west wing ?! The frustrations that all of these constant instructions brought was off the scale. Then because constant text messages weren't enough phone calls from the shielding line to make sure I was staying home. Letters to back it all up . It was intense and became overwhelmingly frightening. 

The first couple of weeks it was all manageable and about getting a new routine, but as the following months panned out the isolation and loneliness became ingrained. A few people sent the odd message on facebook but other than that and a couple of friends who kept regular contact I became completely isolated within four walls. Four walls that felt smaller every single day. 

But somehow we managed it. For 2 years other than a couple of pauses to sheilding, 6 of us, all with our own ways of coping, navigating this crazy changing yet standstill of a world, we coped in the best way that we could. And eventually shielding ended . 

This should be the start of normality again right ? 

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